Willpower is defined as self-control – as the ability to control one's behaviors and stick to one's own decisions.

But why is it so hard to find and hold onto?  Why are countless weight loss and exercise regimes stagnated by the inability to stick to resolutions? Why are those battling alcohol addiction or trying to quit smoking accused of a lack of willpower?

Many behaviors that we want to change such as over-eating, smoking or use of alcohol, are complex behaviors that involve brain chemistry.  Simply saying "I want to eat less," ignores the complicated nature of hunger, satiety and emotional eating.  Just "making up your mind" to do something is only the very first step of the process.

Focus on One Habit at a Time

An American Psychological Association press release from 2006 reported on a study that showed that weight loss programs that intended to do many things at once, such as lower blood pressure and cholesterol and well as reduce weight, were less successful than those that only focused on weight.  The lesson – pick one habit to focus on at a time.  Trying to focus on multiple bad habits is not going to be successful.

Set Reasonable Goals

Another enemy to willpower is unrealistic expectations.  Setting reasonable goals is the key to making strides to change a difficult behavior.  Weight loss requires a reduced calorie diet, but not perfection.  Aiming for 1 pound a week of weight loss instead of 2 is a reasonable approach and one you can stick to for the long-term.  It took time to put on that weight or to develop that habit – it will take time to change it.

Adopt an Attitude of Forgiveness

Lastly, adopt an attitude of forgiveness.  Say things to yourself that you would say to a good friend. If you find yourself talking to yourself in a negative manner, ask yourself if you would say that to a loved one. If not, stop saying it to yourself. No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. You mess up one day, just start again the next.

Willpower should probably be renamed as "workpower." Nothing that requires willpower happens easily, and always feels like work.  But by choosing one goal at a time, setting reasonable expectations and adopting an attitude of forgiveness, you can make create positive change for the long term.

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